Put It Away, Heidi Klum (And Other AMA Looks)

Last night was the American Music Awards, which meant a gathering of some of the biggest names in music today and some C-list celebrities who apparently still get invited to things. Seriously. I’m hoping to get an invite next year. Anyway, I didn’t actually watch the show last night (SUPER bummed about not seeing TLC’s “Waterfalls” even though I’ve never been a Lil Mama fan), but I of course checked out the red carpet situation. So let’s get down to the shaming and praise.

Wearing Marchesa.

Heidi Klum.

As the title would suggest…Heidi, STOP! You are 40 years old. You have four children. What is this monstrosity? We all get that you’re a model and still hot. But this is like…half lingerie, half shredder, 100% disgusting. And are those kitten heels? You know better. Can you please just get back together with Seal?

Emma Roberts.

Emma Roberts.

It may be Lanvin, but it still looks like a trash bag. Kudos on the statement clutch and heels though, even though I’m not a huge fan of covered toes with metallics.

Ke$ha.

Ke$ha.

Oh. My. God. Is Ke$ha actually going to be my best dressed? She looks amazing! That slit, the pastel hair, the gorgeous makeup, THE STATEMENT NAIL. This is the kind of look someone who doesn’t have a sign in their name would wear. You heard me, Kesha.

Kelly Osbourne.

Kelly Osbourne.

Yikes. I bet Joan Rivers is yelling at her backstage at Fashion Police. Kelly, you know better. If you’re going to make a living off critiquing other people’s outfits, don’t let them do it back to you (I don’t make a living off it, so it’s my way erryday).

Nicole Richie.

Nicole Richie.

Cut-outs were HUGE last night, and Nicole Richie was hella fierce. Even though she and Christina Aguilera had similar outfits, I’m going to say Nicole wore it better – if only for the pairing of sleek hairdo with that statement necklace.

Lady Gaga.

Lady Gaga.

Ugh. Lady Godiva called. She said cut the shit. Next?

Taylor Swift.

Taylor Swift.

I want to hate this because it’s Taylor Swift, but dammmmnnnn gurrrrrllll. The mini dress, the fierce hair, the awesome sandals. You’re a runner-up for Best Dressed, Miss Swift (yet still behind Ke$ha).

Katy Perry.

Katy Perry.

Oscar de la Renta is great. He makes some of the most feminine, beautiful gowns in the world of fashion. And yettttt he’s not suited for Katy Perry. I don’t know, maybe it just hasn’t been enough time since the lollipop-spinning bra.

Kendall and Kylie Jenner.

Kendall and Kylie Jenner.

Kendall looks great and all but I can’t get over Kylie. THOSE BANGS ARE AMAZING. Seriously, I would have found her so much less annoying on the most recent season of “KUWTK” if she had those. She looks so grown up. And the crop top/high-waisted pants are a dream. Amazing, amazing, amazing.

Miley Cyrus.

Miley Cyrus.

FINALLY! A look from Miley’s “eclectic” phase that I can fully get behind. The Versace suit is perfectly cut for her body, she doesn’t pile on all of that unnecessary jewerly – it’s great. She turned 21 over the weekend, is it safe to say she’s finally gotten a bit more mature?

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Eh. Maybe next year?

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