We’re All About Fashion Week…Except Not Really

Is it just me or did everyone forget it was Fashion Week these past few days? Maybe it’s because the weather has been so awful no one had been paying attention to much else other than the 10-day forecast. Oh, by the way, it’s currently snowing so yeah, shoot me now.

I mean, look, I knew it was happening, but I just wasn’t as “in” to Fashion Week as I usually am. I’m officially calling this the winter blues or begging to find out what kind of lethargic clone has taken my place because I’m just not feeling it. Great post so far, right guys? Don’t get me wrong, fashion is great, but remember how I mentioned it’s always a season ahead? Yeah, the last thing I want to see as I put on my wool tights and socks for the fifth day in a row is the Fall/Winter collections for 2014. GIVE ME SPRING, ALREADY.

But I digress – I am giving myself until Paris to officially get out of this fashion funk. Oh well, at least I’m not wearing running shoes, white socks and cuffed jeans (slap me if you see me doing that).

Anyway, don’t mind me, I’m just grouchy. There were a lot of noticeable looks on the runways the past few days – and I’ve rounded up the biggest stories:

A new kind of statement bag:

3.1 Phillip Lim.

3.1 Phillip Lim.

Totes amaze? Need at once. Several designers sent down bags with cute phrases on them. Now, Kate Spade has been doing this for years, but suddenly designers like Karen Walker and Phillip Lim are suddenly jumping on the bandwagon. While I think it’s a cute idea, is it practical? Hell to the naw. I convince myself it’s okay to invest in really expensive bags because some day my future daughter would want them. What would you rather spend $1,500 on? A black Lady Dior bag or a leather tote that says “totes” on it? I’m gonna go with the first one – unless you have an obscene amount of money and can buy whatever you want.

Marc by Marc Jacobs departs:

MBMJ Look 4.

MBMJ Look 4.

Oh that’s right, the brand we’ve all loved for years will be henceforth known as “MBMJ.” If you frequently stumble when speaking because you talk so fast (like I do), you’re most likely going to slow yourself down purposely and continue to call it “Marc by Marc Jacobs.” This season was the first since Luella Bartley and Katie Hillier took over as co-designers for the brand. Jacobs himself sat in the front row. It was definitely a departure from collections of seasons’ past, and while many are applauding the fun move, I am left on the fence. I get that it brought life back into the brand, but I’m wondering if it’s becoming less accessible to the average girl who just loves fashion and more on the side of man repeller.

We get it, American Hustle is huge right now:

DVF Look 15.

DVF Look 15.

70s! 70s EVERYWHERE! And Rachel Zoe wasn’t even presenting. Seriously, Diane von Furstenberg, Tory Burch, Jenny Packham. Everyone was all about the jewel-tones and the slinky fabrics and the low cuts. This is what I mean about handing stuff down to your daughter eventually. Moms are currently the collectors of major vintage that is just so IN right now. Get ready to see a lot of heavy patterns, flowy hemlines and fun with bright colors. I feel like the 70s comes back in a big way every few years and it appears as though we are right on schedule.

Can we cut the shit with the round tailoring?

Proenza Schouler look 17.

Proenza Schouler Look 17.

Seriously, ENOUGH BOXINESS. These women on the runway are 115 lbs. tops and amazon height. How the hell is it going to look on, say, a 5’4″ girl with a large chest and already self conscious about her shoulders? Awful, I tell you and I’m so sick of the fashion industry doing this to us. I’m fairly convinced they’re all on Kanye West’s payroll and he’s trying to see what obnoxious coat he can get Kim Kardashian to wear next. I get that we’re constantly trying to push the boundaries into menswear but to be honest? God (or whatever you believe in) gave us awesome womanly bodies for a reason, so why shouldn’t we show them off? Can I get an amen?

Invest in buffalo plaid this fall? You get to keep it for another year:

Rag & Bone look 9.

Rag & Bone Look 9.

Yes, plaid is back. Not in the super grungy punk way it was in 2013, but in more the “everyone is trying to copy Celine” way. Can we also take a moment to talk about those furry clogs for a second? This is when copying Celine isn’t a good idea. While I wouldn’t recommend wearing plaid on plaid (as shown above – and holy camel toe, model) I think it’s a safe bet that this kind of pattern will be featured in a major way this coming fall. After all, we already had the opportunity to build up our plaid collection this past season, it can only get bigger from here (that’s what she said).

Thom Browne continues to give me nightmares:

Thom Browne Look 22.

Thom Browne Look 22.

Yes, Thom Browne hit the scene last year in a major way when the first lady of style (and, you know, the U.S.) Michelle Obama wore his dress coat during her husband’s inauguration. Now he’s been making waves for a different reason: scaring everyone with his presentations. He’s been super moody and dramatic lately – and not like me in high school – and it’s really starting to show in his collections. Last season you were visiting a psych ward. This season? A creepy church with nun-like creatures that could also serve as the entire cast of a Tim Burton film.

It’ll be interesting to see what I think for the rest of the shows – hopefully it’ll give me some time to get out of my funk. What about you, though? Are you into Fashion Week this year?