Because We Cannes Cannes Cannes!

If you didn’t get the reference, we can’t be friends. So yesterday kicked off the Cannes Film Festival, which is typically a collection of some of the biggest movie stars in the world and some D-listers. It’s very glitzy and actresses typically give it their all to impress the fashion police in the event their movie is a total flop (cough, Nicole Kidman, cough).

Anyway, I know it’s only day one, but there are so many good looks I want to talk about that I decided to rank them. Because what else do I have going on? It’s from worst to best…and it gets a little tricky toward the bottom. You’ll see.

7.

Karlie Kloss in Valentino.

Karlie Kloss in Valentino.

I’m going to go ahead and blame bestie Taylor Swift for this one, but Kloss is fighting between looking like a doily and looking like an old woman who still works at a burlesque show. This is awful, but I am glad that it tests my theory that gorgeous, 6-foot-1 Karlie Kloss actually CAN’T wear everything like a pro. This dress needs to be buried with the Titanic.

6.

Kendall Jenner in Chanel.

Kendall Jenner in Chanel.

I get that Kendall Jenner has probably the most staying power of all the Kardashians, but that’s like being the head fry cook at McDonalds (no hate). I’m really confused as to what she’s doing there other than looking pretty, and even then I’ve seen her look much better. The dress is whatever and her hair looks stringy. Like Jenner, it’s just kind of there.

5.

Jane Fonda in Elie Saab.

Jane Fonda in Elie Saab.

Work it little mama, I know you wanna do the Jane Fonda…sorry, had to. It actually pains me to put Jane so high up on the list because she doesn’t look bad (she’s 76 after all and looks like that!), but everyone else was just that good. Plus the kind of has an ice dancer feeling to me, which I know is Jane’s typical style aesthetic but eh, there was better out there.

4.

Paz Vega in Elie Saab.

Paz Vega in Elie Saab.

Here’s Paz Vega looking every inch a European movie star. I like that she decided to not go full-on gown mode and instead chose a fitted, ladylike dress with embellishments. Plus the nude shoes ties it all together. Don’t even get me started on the perfect hair and makeup. The statement earrings just seal the deal. I’m loving it.

3.

Zoe Saldana in Victoria Beckham.

Zoe Saldana in Victoria Beckham.

Had this been any other red carpet I’d name this my Best Dressed. Because I guarantee you other than this list, no one would dress this good. First off: it’s no secret I love Victoria Beckham designs, but Saldana takes it to the next level with this gorgeous belt, flawless hair and makeup and amazing statement earrings. I don’t think I’ve ever seen her look better.

2.

Nicole Kidman in Armani Prive.

Nicole Kidman in Armani Prive.

Let the record show that I picked this gown for Cate Blanchett at the Oscars, but I’m kind of glad she passed on it because this dress is Beyonce FLAWLESS on Nicole Kidman. It’s a good thing, too, because it distracts us all from the horrible reviews of Grace of Monaco. I don’t think I’ve seen Nicole look this good in a long time, but it’s just a testament to the style star she can really be.

1.

Blake Lively in Gucci.

Blake Lively in Gucci.

Ugh, SHUT UP, Blake Lively. It’s so hard to like her because she’s so gorgeous, she’s married to Ryan Reynolds, she has the best hair imaginable and she always talks about how she hates exercising and loves eating. And she looks like that. I can’t find a single thing wrong with this look, it’s pure perfection. The Grecian-style dress, the awesome braid, the gorgeous makeup. She shuts it down.

Agree with my rankings? Discuss.

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