We’re Back…Sporadically (The Golden Globes Fashion Recap)

Did you miss me? I missed you too! So much so that I’ve pledged that I will be channeling my inner Joan Rivers (RIP) this entire award season and recapping all of the fashion for you. I’m currently on school break so I have a little more time on my hands. By that I mean I have time to sleep, which is phenomenal. However, I thought we would do things a bit differently. Instead of trying to come up with clever quips for everyone (which can be quite a stretch sometimes), I would instead countdown the five worst and best looks. Think of this as cliffnotes red carpet. I know, I know, it’s different than before but change is good (most of the time) and why settle for 40 semi-okay red carpet rundowns when you can get 10 really good ones.

Whatever, you’re getting 10, deal with it. XOXO.

Best Looks of the Night (In Order):

5. Naomi Watts

Naomi Watts in Gucci.

Naomi Watts in Gucci.

I don’t know if I’ve mentioned this, but I am a sucker for a yellow dress with red lip. Basically, if you wear both of these things on the red carpet I will blindly turn the other way even if the dress is torn or the lipstick makes it up to your nose and I’ll still put you on my best dressed list. The person to best pull this off was Michelle Williams (Fun fact: Eskimo sisters with Naomi Watts) during the 2006 Oscars. The only reason this isn’t ranked higher on the list? I can’t get behind the belt, it makes the dress look cheap. Without it, I would say this would have been my top pick.

4. Emily Blunt

Emily Blunt in Michael Kors.

Emily Blunt in Michael Kors.

I don’t want to hear any of this “boring,” “It looks like she’s wearing a sheet,” or any references to toga parties. I LOVE this dress. White was everywhere on the red carpet, which was interesting given that it was raining but hey, who can I judge (everyone, the answer is I can judge everyone). Emily overcame the flu, has a baby AND it was raining and yet she still showed up in this ethereal white looking flawless. I can’t get enough of the bold accent pieces she chose to accent the dress with either. Easily the best she has looked in a long time.

3. Anna Faris

Anna Faris in Reem Acra.

Anna Faris in Reem Acra.

I love Anna Faris. I think she’s one of the funniest women in Hollywood and I can’t get enough of her and husband Chris Pratt to the point where I’m considering asking them to adopt me at the young, impressionable age of 27. I’m normally not the biggest fan of this shade of dress on such a pale (and blonde, for that matter) person, but she looked beautiful. There were a lot of embellished dresses on the carpet last night but this definitely ranked toward the top for me. The dress also looked super comfortable and unfussy, which is why I’m not more upset about her casual hair.

2. Emma Stone

Emma Stone in Lanvin.

Emma Stone in Lanvin.

If I hear one snide comment about this pantsuit I will shake you until you recant. Fine, that’s a bit dramatic, but I’ll definitely give you this look. Although I should be annoyed that she totally copied Emma Watson’s daring look from last year, I can’t be because it’s just THAT GOOD. Emmas in pantsuits for life! My one major complaint? Did you see that weird barrette thing she had going on in the back? The one that made her look like she needed to be hooked up to a spaceship at the end of the night? Yeah, I don’t know what it’s about either, but thankfully we’ll only look at her from the front and worship this perfection.

My BEST DRESSED PICK goes to….

Sienna Miller!

Sienna Miller in Miu Miu.

Sienna Miller in Miu Miu.

I am OBSESSED with this dress. While this photo doesn’t do it justice, every time I saw her walking on the red carpet I wanted to stand up and salute her. Sienna Miller is one of those people who LOVES fashion, but in a Kerry Washington way. Meaning that she likes to take risks and leaves the standard Armanis and Versaces at home in favor of lesser known designers who can make major impact. The problem with that kind of fashion love is sometimes it can make you look like a hot mess. This dress is not one of those instances. It really fits her boho vibe (including the hair), but still looks so polished. I can’t get enough of this dress and hope to see her do some equally amazing things as carpet season continues.

And now let’s go on to the worst dressed list…

5. Melissa McCarthy

Melissa McCarthy in a bunch of things..

Melissa McCarthy in a bunch of things..

You may think I am being clever with that caption, but I’m not. In an interview, Melissa McCarthy actually said she went into her closet and sewed a bunch of things together to create…this. Look, I know dressing can be more difficult if you’re on the larger side, but I’ve seen Melissa kill it. This is just so mismatched she looks like a mix between a flamenco dancer, my 6th grade tap costume and a pillowcase. WHY, MELISSA, WHY?! You wasted your awesome hair and makeup on this monstrosity.

4. Tina Fey

Tina Fey in Antonio Berardi.

Tina Fey in Antonio Berardi.

This physically pains me to write this because I love Tina Fey more than most of my closest friends (sorry), but she is dressed like a bedazzled bowling pin. I cannot. There is just too much volume all around. The dress, the hair, the silhouette. And what is with those random crystals? They look like they were superglued on. Maybe if the dress was formfitting and floor-length I would reconsider my harsh words…maybe. Maybe she just figured she had so many costume changes that night she’d be out soon enough.

3. Kristen Wiig

Kristen Wiig in Delphine Manivet.

Kristen Wiig in Delphine Manivet.

Fun fact: This is actually a bridal gown from the designer’s “Pagan Bride” collection. Make your own assessment from that knowledge, why don’t you? I know Kristen likes to be fun and easy and boho but this look is falling all kinds of flat for me. The shine, the off-the-shoulder style the weird cinch at the hips that you’d typically find on a Wet Seal tube dress or gouchos. Huge fan of the clutch and arm party, though, so at least something is working. She looks like she’s going to fall asleep.

2. Jemima Kirke

Jemima Kirke in Rosie Assoulin.

Jemima Kirke in Rosie Assoulin.

I didn’t know Jemima Kirke was in the new Star Wars movie! As much as it pains me to say this, leave white caps to Gwyneth Paltrow. I do love her eye makeup, which is a complete departure from the normal natural look she wears, but nothing can save from this dress. Rosie Assoulin is known for fun volumes and carefree styles that look great on fashion It girls like Leandra Medine. Unfortunately, for a major red carpet debut such as this, I’m worried that it falls flat. Sorry, it starts to fall flat but midair spreads its wings and flies away.

And finally, the pick for the Worst Dressed of the Golden Globes is…

Lana del Rey in vintage Travilla.

Lana del Rey in vintage Travilla.

Does it come as any surprise that it’s Lana Del Rey? Or as I’ll now refer to her from now on: trippy mermaid Starbucks logo come to life? Did she borrow this look from Lady Gaga’s reject pile while she was going through her mermaid phase? There is just so much that is wrong with this outfit. I half expect a seashell to fall out of her hair at any moment. Or at least some sand. If the color, the hair and the cut weren’t bad enough already – what are those pleats?! They seriously are SO unflattering that she’d be better wrapping herself in tinfoil. Disaster.

…And there you have it. Limiting yourself to 10 is hard. It didn’t even give me time to discuss Amal (hated the gloves), Lena (looked better than usual) or J. Lo (is she guest judging RuPaul’s Drag Race later?) but I for one am happy with my picks. So, what say you?

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